The art of gift receiving; It acknowledges the many gifts given in one gesture.
Receiving a gift in a heartfelt manner is a gift in return. The way you handle the gift is a sign of caring and respect to the giver. What relatives want most in return when giving a gift is a more loving & caring relationship.
This gift receiving process/ceremony shows appreciation and acknowledgment for the many parts of a gift. At each age level this process can be done in a nicer and more connecting way.
With young children, this process is best learned through role-playing
just BEFORE the gift exchange time, and by role modeling in the way you
receive gifts. Children will be able to do this differently, based on
their age and maturity. I ask that you explain and role-play the
ritual before the gift giving time. When “grandma” gives the gift, just
let the process unfold and don’t coach and remind the kids what to do
next. Let the gift of a heartfelt response be from the child and not
you. Just do another role-play before the next gift receiving time.
People love to give to those who are good receivers.
An idea
for generous grandparents, and other relatives is to give educational,
skill development and cultural awareness experiences. Leave the stuff to
parents. Some of these things are best done with the children, building
fond memories. It also prevents the kids from being overwhelmed with
too much stuff. Summer camp, trips to unusual places, theater and
other cultural programs, cooking classes and other educational programs,
camping and other outdoor adventures are just a few ideas. None of
these things end up at the back of the closet and they are remembered
far longer than standard gifts for kids. The memories of the experiences
last a lifetime. (An often for generations in the stories told about
them) and certainly longer than most toys.
I encourage you to
discuss and role play gift receiving before you go to gift exchange
events. This can be done on many different levels, depending on the age
of the kids, What are their expectations and responsibilities? How do
they like their gifts to be received? Are they entitled to gifts of a
particular value? In what way should the type of gift they receive be
connected to how they have treated the giver in the past year? Is it
fair for one sibling to receive a more valuable gift that another if
they have spent more time communicating and being kinder to the giver?
What should the family policy be about thank you notes? One idea about
thank you notes is that the gift can be used for an agreed number of
hours. It is then put away until a thank you note is mailed. (Give an
example of an appropriate note for their age level)
1. When
presented with the gift, accept it, then put it down and give the person
a hug and a thanks for being so thoughtful and remembering you at this
time with a gift. Thinking of you is the first part of the gift.
2.
Open the card and read it aloud, slowly and with feeling, while facing
the person. (3-4 feet away from you). Make a nice comment about the
card, if you can. They spent time picking just the right card for you
and they would like to know that you understood the message and felt the
love in the card. Spending the time and energy on getting you a
special card is another part of the gift
3. Before opening the
gift, say something that shows you admire or appreciate the way it was
wrapped. They also thought of you as they chose the wrapping &
bought the materials to do it: another part of the gift.
4. Open the gift slowly and with care. Handle the gift as you would handle the giver – with love and respect.
5.
Say something nice about the gift or the thoughtfulness of the giver in
choosing the gift. Have a variety of nice things to say, depending on
what the item is. (Also practice what to say if the gift isn’t what you
had hoped for. Perhaps grandma would like to go to the store, and spend
time with you to pick a different gift.)
6. Follow up with a
comment about how nice it is to have them as friend or relative in your
life. (Give another hug if it is appropriate and heart felt.) Having
caring people in your life, and caring people who give you presents is a
gift of wonderful memories that last a lifetime.
Relatives love to give gifts to kids who receive them this way Come to think of it, I think we’d all like our gifts received this way
Created and shared with you by Dave Savage dave@davesavage.com 404 323-8686